Good on paper but…

Your cock, I mean. Away from my face.

I don’t want to suck it. I do not want your hot & sticky nut in my hair, eyelashes or nose. I don’t feel sexy batting my eyes furiously against the sting of a semen droplet on my tender eyeball.

Don’t get me wrong. oral sex is fine. An extended bout of 69 with the right man is divine. But not with everyone.

Why?

Because it goes from a thing of pleasure to an instrument of derision. The most common insult in the make arsenal is “suck my dick”. So, am I supposed to be thrilled to suck selfsame dick?

A while ago, I was seeing a very nice guy. He was always ready to dip his face in my undies and treat me to oral delights. I once asked him was he doing it because he liked it or it licking in escrow?

He said both. But he did want it done to him especially since his wife did not do it often.

I reminded him that we have endless ways to get each off, so please, don’t limit yourself. I am not ready to suck you off often, either.

Some eyebrows may be raised at this point, as after all, I am supposed to be be accommodating.

I am, to a slight degree.

It is good I have my own money and don’t need these generous friends of mine.

I would be stranded up that proverbial creek with my attitude, now wouldn’t I?

I have a friend with a little bit of green in her eyes for me.

She does not mean to be jealous. She wants to be happy for me.

But she also wants me to be more like her.

I won’t. I cannot.

She does not have a good nose, so to speak. She ignores the obvious signs and then grumbles about the bad results.

There are some men who will never do as they promise. One can wait, twirl, cock, suck, screw, no matter.  They will not come through.

I can spot them but my bullshit detector is finely tuned.

We argue about older men, She wants them to be grateful, and I explained to her that they are still human, not walking ATM’s.

Old and foxy is different than old and unsexy.  I do not expect old and foxy, who is a product of the freesex revolution, to be any more pleased to offer his $$$, than old and unsexy, who is pissed that he has to come out of his pocket.

She can chide me for dating a few guys that are not to her taste-bacially, anyone over 40.
I can chide her for not having the ability to keep her eyes on the prize-the money.

Fair enough, I think.

My older yet subversive friend is becoming more emotionally attached. Not enough to pee on him, degrade him, unravel his kinky fantasies and bring them to life.

He wants me to love him. He says we should be united in matrimony.

Yeah, he does.

Somehow, he needs to have a deep, committed and loving kinky love affair.

I am not sure if he would feel that way if I did not empty his wallet every time I see him.

Being that he is a gentleman, he may hazily wish that he got more of me, for all that he gives. He may not ever say it, but he thinks it.

What better way to reap an immediate return on his investment, than by making things more permanent?

I tell you, why was I not around for the good old days when a man just wanted a straightforward exchange? I bring one type of good, he brings another, we work out the details and go home when the dealings done.

I am not one to haggle and take all day to get to the point.

I wistfully sigh and look off into the distance when I think of the man who does not need to burst forth in loving song just because I have gotten him off in a way he did not expect.

Maybe this is why some fantasies need to stay hidden and unrealized. They are too hard to make true.

On both sides

As I have told you, Dear Reader, I am not a hooker. I just act like one. There is quite a difference between being and doing.

That is about to change. Because I drawing the line in the sand. More on that in a sec.

Although to me, any exchange of money between a man and a woman is a form of trade, there are gradations. Some are legal (wives); others are illicit (that hot stripper who went all the way in the private room at the Club). Other float in the gray area where I exist-the girlfriend/mistress/sweet party girl zone.

Being in that zone means I get the fun stuff and the nice treatment. Even after it is over, I still hold a fond place in his heart and we can hang out or get a drink. I can call for advice or a friendly referral to a good doc or lawyer. You know, that kind of good stuff.

The beauty of this zone is that you get what you want without the man being all pissy or angry. But the ugly part is that at some point, it stops being fun. Either he is ready to move on or move in. Yuck to both.

Being that I tend to like the powerful type of guy, I have noticed that the new models coming out of the factory are getting kinkier and kinkier. I like to play a bit but I don’t have a closet of fetish gear.

So… it has come that I have to define not only what I want, but also how much I will give and take.

I have always been a spoiled princess. But if I have to don leather, latex, rubber or some other material such as those, I need to charge. By the minute and per the act.

No sex, just domination for those who want to slide into the kinky side of things. I have a bias; I can’t seriously date a man that I have spanked, pissed on, defile or called an ass-licking whore. That just is not turn-on.

Recently, I found my cherry popper. He is a banker who has some “special needs”.  Like to be ridden like a horse, and to be told how nasty he is, as I let him beg to sniff my ass.

I am strapping on my boots but my knees are shaky. I have not walked on this side of the street; I have only passed by.

 I will wing it until I know exactly what I am doing. Fingers crossed.

Before you think I am just delusional, that I am a hooker with aspirations (or delusions), let me explain.

Men are the ones who make the labels, but we women are the ones who wear them, willingly or not. It is still a world that is run mostly by men.

I luckily had a dad that explained to m that men value certain behaviors. It is up to me how I chose to adapt to those expectations.

In demanding that a man do more for me that stick his cock in me, I have slid over into naughty girl territory. Fun place to be, actually.

As I am not a wife, I do not have a legal and natural right to expect a man to do for me just because we have sex. I just demand that he does, as sex has a cost. Of the many tings that are free, in my estimation, sex isn’t. Love is but not sex.

And even if I love a man, I still expect things.

However, men have not treated me in the way that they treat hookers, escorts, strippers and street walkers. Only because in their heads, I am not a hooker.

But other men have not been so kind, they have been offended that I want some of what they value the most-money. I do not fool with them, obviously.

I often wish that men would be more careful of the feelings of women who are sex workers, as no matter what, they are human beings who deserve to be treated with respect.

Some women are fine, educated and well groomed, so they can command a high price for their favors. Some are clever and charismatic, as a result they can keep a man panting and running. Some are pushed by desperation into dealing with men in this fashion, so they are not as adept at getting the best price.

I do not make the mistake in thinking that women who do not expect a man to give them money, think of me as anything but an undercover hooker. I would even argue that the crackhead on the dark street corner can’t see any difference between herself and me.

In truth, what is the difference? Besides the fact that I do not have to be bothered, that I can survive on my regular job, that I don’t have factors that drive me to sex work. I am not any better or worse than “those girls”

I am just an average girl, not super gorgeous or a model, by any means.  What I do have is than enough brains and enough realism to understand that I can pretend to be in love and have sex. Or I can have sex and get real, not pretend things.

I believe that most women are bargaining for something. I prefer to honestly bargain for cash and gifts.

I have a male friend who is a sex worker.

I whisper it, because he is in denial. He love sit, but then he hates what he does. He goes in full steam, then he pulls away. he is proud that he can get money for hios body, but he has a bit of shame.

I always knew he was bisexual, and I made him confess, as he was straining our friensdship with a bunch of useless come-ons and flirts. it took me 5 years but I got him to tell.

Now he won’t shut up.

In particular, he prides himself on his ability to tuern the heads of men and how many he has panting in the wings.

He recently was bragging and chiding me because an older guy I know was dragging his feet about his intent. I explained that there is never any shame for a man to be with a woman, so don’t get all twisted up.

So, now we are in a weird phase, called “I have more men than you do!!”.

hahahaha…

Many of us have dreams, things that cause our hearts to stir and our souls to soar. If only…
In my case, when it comes to men, I dream of the one who will not give me a damn headache over being a man.

Being that I am a daddy’s girl, I expect men to be manly, strong and decisive. Not bitchy and vacillating. I like a man who is clear in his intent.

I have not been writing much, as I have been busy with other things. I have seen a man or two, but as usual, things start out well and then they disintegrate.
In my case, the so-called “sub” man is always biting at my heels, yet he really is not submissive. He talks too much and tries to be the boss.

I can’t obey a man that just licked my ass and drank my piss. Once a man degrades himself to that point, he needs to be sweet and docile. I do not chide him for being a freaky slut but there is not need to try and be a macho macho man with piss droplets still drying in his hair.

But that is just my take; so don’t get offended if you are that type.

What else is interesting that these guys want this fantasy to come to life, but then they get upset when the bill is due? I know there are women who enjoy this thing but I need to be compensated for the ick factor. It comes at a point past the sighing but before the orgasm.

I know men who will spend 300 for 45 minutes with a pro but expect that same treatment from a regular lady. For free. No. Not me.

If you think I am just being comical, keep reading.

Some women are very easy to figure out, they are as simple as a summer’s day.

Should I be flogged for that? I am, for to get the treatment I want, I must lie; hide myself, my true feelings, my wants… under a cover of uncaring. Somehow, I am supposed to be shocked and bashful that a man who has fucked me actually wants to do something for me.

Sadly, it has worked. The more I lie, the more I pretend that I do not care for the sound of crisp bills sliding into my hand, the more I am able to get.
The things we naked apes do, to maintain the facade of civility.

I am very very tired but I need to write a few things down. Details and expansion later… -Many powerful men are kinky.

For me, 9 times out of 10, a man who wants to wear panties and be called “cock-hungry little girl” is someone who strikes fear and awe on the heart of others. 

-I am not sure what the financially-pressed kinky man does, as being kinky is costly. Not just for my time but for the materials, space, etc.

 -My most frequent request is dildo insertion and deep hard fucking from a strap-on. I am wondering when the female will be obsolete, as these men just make the final step to being with other men and are not discomforted by the sight of a hard cock. 

-I dominated a man, aged 60, who cried like a child after I entered him and got a rhythm going. I read that people find release of their emotional issues when they “let go” in the anal region. Afterward, he glowed. 

-I had another man, aged 40, who wants to suck big hard cocks, but only if I am there. I gently explained that I am not prop, so he should just got pick up a guy on the Net or the local gas station and call it a day. -Married men have many stories of what they are not having the sex they want, but not making any moves to have the sex they want. -I wonder if married women stop having as much sex, because they know that the husband is out pursuing others, no matter what she does. -If get married, will I too, be that way within 2-5 years???

 -I am batting away many more younger men than before, They see nothing wrong with my age but we are a lifetime apart, Anyone who is 10 years my junior yet as mature as me, may have had a hard life and I refuse to deal with that. -Younger men still want to play Romeo and Juliet. That is too bad, really. 

-For every good one I find, I have to reject 8-10 others -I have been on break for 3 weeks. I do like the vacation-time away from the madness.More later….forgive me, please.