Good on paper but…

Away from home with my super ex-bf for the holiday, so I will be brief:

I got another email from a man who wants to wear girl clothes and be humilated. I have gently told him that he needs to stop playing silly games and go get a pro, for it is gonna be hard to find a woman who wants to be bothered with that sort of thing. Yes, he also wants to be made to submit to man.

In truth, he wants to have a cock in his mouth but since he is not identified as gay, he wants a woman to help him, by making him. Yeah, okay.

I am sure there are women who will, but I doubt he wants them. He wants a woman that is not into that to go out of her way or one who is, to give him a freebie.

As a child of the free love era and a man who has decided that to pay a woman for any sort of sexual activity is weak, he is spinning his wheels in sand.

I cheerfully pointed it out to him, and he said that he is not averse to a pro but he prefers to find a woman who is in it for the love of the game. (I am sure you see my disgusted eyerolling.)

Of course, he has yet to ask his wife, who is there everyday, to hep him with his burning desire.

I told him, on my way out the door, that I hope when he gets to the emergency room, that he has a doc who is there for the love of the game and not collecting a paycheck. Good luck with that level of care.

People will pay their medical providers, accountants, stock brokers and lawn care dude. Why the hell do they not see that they want a service, which should be duly compensated for the time that it itakes to give it?

No, I am not going to do it. I have my limits and I really think that he should just go get a man and let the guy put him through the paces.

But as a rich alpha male, of course he can’t take the simple route, can he?

I have not spoken of them, but I still have my 2 Euro man friends. Yes, I still get stuff. Did you think that because I am caught up in the zone of lusty love that I am crazy enough to turn down thoughtful gifts given in kindness?  Pfffttt… I not ring on finger have yet.

Well, a local guy- I am sure about wrote about him, he is a freak that I stuffed back into the closet-started writing me again.  I had already dissuaded him on  getting divorced, because I did not love him and I was not about to lie and say I would be there.

However, he is back, wanting attention.  I have none to give, nor do I want his money. I am done with him.

Funny how some things come in the mail and bring joy, yet others cause me to cringe and flinch.

I am always hoping that people are honest about their sexual needs and desires.

Some of my fellow humans are swingers-they have all sorts of fun, I suppose. I hope.

Within the realm, but maybe crossing a bit into femdom, come the cuckolds. You know, the guys who get off on their wives being pleased by big giant super cocks that are rarely seen in nature. Of course, these cocks are often black.

I have read and researched. I have tried to be flexible.

I am not convinced that this is always the idea of the so-called wanton wife, or a true case of a woman who i not satisfied and needs to degrade her silent hubby into submission. I think this is yet another male fantasy run amok.

For those who have noticed, the traditional cuckold was a man with an unfaithful wife. But it was always secret and whispered and fraught with danger. For if one was caught, she had a number of sad fates awaiting: death, dismemberment, drawn&quartered, burning, being publicly disgraced, turned out penniless into streets, sent to convent, chained in basement, so forth.

Read the rest of this entry »

Quick note, 2 points:

1. A man I recently met asked if I watched porn.

I replied in the negative.

He seemed surprised. I explained that life is fractured enough, I like my sex holistic. I think that porn is not good or bad, just it is what it is and I step aside of that fray.

He can watch it, but with some other woman.

There has to be a more imaginative way to try and turn me on.

2. A guy who thinks he likes me made one comment two many about a woman’s hotness.

Yes, beauty is beauty. Admire it. But it is gauche to expect me (if he wants to screw me) to chit-chat about the hotness factor of said woman passing by.Or on TV, movie, whatnot. Admiration yes, but ogling, no.

He is Stateside, so he may forget his manners. In the bullpit we all wallow through daily, some of us can’t shuck our battle gear and mentality outside the door.

I do not like spitting in the street, being rude to strangers or treating me like I am one’s “homie.”

Shudder and frown,

Aneris

I imagined I could escape unscathed.

Nope.

I transferred money from one account of mine to a friend. This was supposed to be a paperless venture.

Why did they send me the check? Yes, it was made out to the person, not me.

Ugghhh… and they say we are ready to be a paperless and cashless society.

Rriiiiiiigggghhhhttooo.

This is the mother of all WTFW lately.

Now, I see that there are real actual reasons why wives are desperate, to use the term loosely.

They just need to be touched. Yes, touched, held, kissed. paid attention to and cherished.

According to the Time magazine article, that is.

I really enjoyed the part about men and visual stimulation:

But many women blame it on their physical appearance. Is that an issue?

Yes, and no. As I said before, sometimes guys are just overwhelmed, or they’re fatigued, or they’re drinking alcohol, which might lower their libido and their ability to function. So the “no” part is that it could have absolutely nothing to do with their wives.

But there’s a “yes” part, too, that I don’t want to overlook. I’ve gotten tons of e-mails and heard this many times from men in my practice, who say, “I love my wife. I want to stay married, but, I have to tell you, she has totally let herself go. She doesn’t eat well. She doesn’t exercise. All she ever wears is sweatpants. It makes me feel that she feels that the relationship isn’t important. I’ve just lost my attraction for her.” If [those wives] think there’s any chance at all that their looks may have something to do with the problem, rather than bemoan the fact that they think their husbands are shallow — I agree — they should also understand that attraction is a very basic, animalistic thing — especially for men. Men are more visually oriented when it comes to arousal. So women can debate that, but the truth is, if they really want their husbands be more interested in them, they should pay more attention to how they’re taking care of themselves physically.

The good doctor, err forgive me, clinical social worker, Ms. Weiner Davis wrote a book about this topic. The link is to a published interview.

I have two things to say:

-aren’t those women wearing sweatpants while they do their daily stripper aerobics workout?

-when will women stop watching these experts on the talk shows and give their men a BJ or whatever he needs to keep things going?

I say less chit-chat with the experts, more quickies with the man.

Just my spoiled bitchy sugar baby opinion.

On my way to spend some money on keeping my soft skin fragrant, catch you guys later.

-A

Did not have time to post yesterday, as it was a busy but not-too-fucked-up day.

A friend calls and wants to know if I am going to the store. I do need some romaine and tomatoes, so I said, “sure, will meet you there”.

He decided to recap old news- he took a job that did not pay enough and had the good sense to find an excuse to bow out, before he was stuck. He felt obligated, because he got a referral from a friend.

The problem is that he had to give up his last month of unemployment to take the job. It did not pay very well and it was not exactly a good match for his skills. I and many others told him that he needed to be sure, because he could just keep looking ( he is in financial services, so it may take a bit longer but he has a degree, he can get a decent wage of about $18-21 in this jittery job market.) Plus, he had a few others offers on the table, so he was not on his way to homelessness.

But he is on his way to being a blockhead, as he took the position out of fear and not wanting to “let a friend down”.

But in the end, the friend was mad at him. He felt like he wasted his time.  And worst of all, unemployment cut him off. They did not care about his car trouble ( the official excuse), they just want to process his case and close it.

We have had the talk about what went wrong. How one does not act out of fear. And so on.

This has happened about 6 times over the past 10 days. He started up again at the market. Oh damn.

As I was gently caressing the ripest tomatoes I had seen in a few weeks, I turned around and told him to shut up, for he was fucking up my day and I could not rehash the past. Especially when he knew better than to make a decision such as he one he made.

Can you imagine why he seemed offended?

But at least it was quiet, hurt feelings or no.

Salvage, this is for you.

Yes, hooray for me, but not for them. Well, maybe. Read on.

It has been delicately brought to my attention that a number of men must exert a bit of effort to grab those lascivious and free women who seek nothing more than sexual pleasure on the fly.

I am a firm believer in the axiom, ” what one won’t do, another will.”

I am sure that if I do not want to comply with a man’s wishes, he can easily find another woman who will. This may have been harder to do back 40-30 years ago but today, pffft! There are women who pride themselves on being some sort of sexual Florence Nightingale. They exist to provide sexual aid and comfort to the wounded, needy and despondent. They thrive on “being there”.

Being selfish, I thrive on not being there. If I want to take care of someone I would get a M.S. in Nursing and run a floor at my local hospital.

I do not make close friends with type of woman who can “take care of herself!!!”, but I do see them all over the place.

It just takes finesse, arrogance, kindness or some combo thereof, to lure one of those willing vixens into the sack. If one wants to have a real date with her, she will split the bill, burn her gasoline to see you and let herself out when you are done. Cost to you: minimal.

I am firm and unyielding on what my baseline behavior and standards are. It keeps me on the right track and allows men to respect me.

Funny how men do not readily speak of the woman who took as much of their money as she could, but the have no problem labeling the girls wo were willing to have sex and expect nothing but sex in return:

Slut tramp whore skag easy dummy fool stupid bitch.

Now that the societal shift from gentleman to carnivore has been made, men no longer take pride on “taking care” of a woman. Nowadays it is a sign of honor to be the jackass with the worse behavior and the most women.

Men who are givers tend to only have few words or a woman who demanded that she be treated as woman, not as a big walking cum receptacle.

* * *

That is right. You do hear birds chirping in the silence. They are not talking about her. Maybe they will mutter ‘gold digger’ or some other deleterious appellation.

Does she really give a damn what he calls her, as she strolls through Whole Foods with his money and buy her overpriced acai berry 100% preservative free juice???

If there is another man who will do what Mr. Cheap will not, then surely, there is a woman who will do what Ms. Spoiled won’t, as well.

{Let’s amend that to “women”,  as women who will compromise outnumber men who won’t by at least 60%}

Nice girls do these days.

Smart ones don’t do much without conditions.

Rarely-but of course it happens-a man who is quite unsuitable for my purposes, attempts to grab my attention.

This one had a gorgeous face, a tight body and was oozing manliness. Smelled good, too.

However….

he had a big tattoo upon his manly neck.

I wanted to ask him why he did such a thing and if he was in a profession where such a look was acceptable.

Instead, I just shook my head ‘no’ and smiled prettily, as I scurried by as fast as I could on the icy sidewalk.

I couldn’t take him anywhere that I like to go, with that tattoo blazing upon his neck like the Dogstar in the night sky.

The places he likes to go ( just judging from the surface), I surely would not like to visit.

Not anything naked or nasty. Well, kinda.

VH1 has a show on about women in videos. Especially the sexy girls with big hot asses in the rap videos.

I turned in on late in the program. I caught the segment about club dancers making a video (as extras). I was okay until I found out they did not get paid for their 12 hour day. No, not a DIME, if the announcer, club owner and musician are to be believed.

We are told that the exposure is crucial for moving beyond the the little club were they work.

Without the girls, it would just be a bunch of homely men ( not unless it is T.I) screaming and hollering over a tight bass line and a drum machine. This can be applied to a number of other pop music versions of any music that plays on the radio.

I do not expect the girls to stop dancing. I am not that naive or controlling or uptight. But I do want them to get at least a per diem. Even extras get to eat food and drink water on a set.

If their image and body is their products, if what they have to bring to the marketplace is what they look like, what they can inspire on the minds of men, then…

Get. Some.Money.For.Your.Time. Every time.

Not every girl will get a deal out of her appearances. Not every one will meet a nice guy who will do some nice things for her. I would guess that most will go back to their jobs in the small clubs with crappy dressing rooms and fuckwad management barking commands at them.

However, the image of her naked, sensuous ass jiggling salaciously is never going to die. Nor is the feeling of walking out in a teeny bathing suit, as men who she would never talk to otherwise are leering at her.

Sigh.