Good on paper but…

How much do you love? What do you sacrifice to have it?

How much do you lust? What ends do you reach to satisfy it?

I think thee are things that are free-sunshine, air, water in a stream, sincere smiles from strangers.

Everything else has a cost, or at least a requirement. Love calls to love, good to good.

Be cruel to a parent or a child, and even that love will become twisted and bitter, rotted at the roots.

Why do people think sex is free? There is always some type of exchange-to make both parties satisfied. Not monetary but other things. Tenderness, time, caring. Truth and or honesty.

Even God expects us to be nice to others, because He loves us. (Or She, depending on your inner world. )

So why do humans expect a cost-free exchange? Why d we scoff at women for wanting material things for the use of their bodies, when it was quite common all over the world to berate the one who gave her virginity away or let herself be used?

I have mentioned before that men do not look kindly to their women having affairs. One of the 1st responses is always, ” I take care of you and look how you repay me!”. Why does that come to mind so soon?

Because of the costs. Time, sweat, money go into relationships.

You do not have to be guilty. Othello, anyone?  But no matter, it is the thought that counts.

What does living and loving cost you? Do you value what is common, or do you seek the exclusive?

How much do you yearn? Have you mastered it? Or will it always be your master?

LHS is on my mind.

But my ass is in Canada.

Let’s just say I am healing.

Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions – Anais Nin

Love, that is.

I am trying but I cannot keep up.

Rarely do I fail but this time…

this time…

this time…

I see only defeat.

Panther, I think of you as I write this.

I am often confused when I work out the details of my thingy with LHS. I do not know what and when and why things will happen-but they do.

Do I like it that way? Yes, I do. Part of his charm for me is that it is always a crapshoot, a guess, a chance for a party.

You love I love a party…

However, the rolllercoaster of love has to slow down, stop and get fuel, before it rockets back off to the sky.

That is when I stand face-to-face with him. I see his flaws, foibles, his stubborn insistences that X is always X , no matter what I say.

I also see his strength, his kindness, his loving heart and his uncanny ability to not sweat the details. He is laidback in a way I never will be able to embrace within myself.

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In a total repudiation of what is currently accepted, LHS does not shave. I asked him to let things grow as they should. He leaves hair for me to tangle my fingers in while I kiss him.

As I bite his thighs and work my way up, I get excited.

I will smell him. As he is made, not perfumed or processed. Clean , slightly soapy, natural.

Lying my head on his stomach, I grip his hips tightly in my hands, and I inhale to smell heaven.

I was all turned about with the wonderful formatting changes, I forgot to go back to my normal mode of commenting-to reply within your comments, so it is one seamless read  to your eyes.

If were not so lazy and drinking so much Stoli Blackberry, I would fix it now.

hehehe!